Penis dishes

There’s a restaurant in China entirely dedicated to the serving of penis dishes. It should be a members only club! Geddit?
They are usually accompanied by the unfortunate beasts testicles too, actual meat and two veg.
Sheep, horse, donkey (surely two people per order), Russian dog and snake, who apparently have two penises. Poor things, I have only got one and it gets me into enough trouble.

The Chinese believe that the consumption of a specific animal part, enhances the corresponding part of your own body. So top tip number one, if you are trying to impress a chick, do not take her to this restaurant or she’ll assume you have a plumbing problem. It seems the more ferocious the beast, the more potent the effect, Tiger Willy is the most expensive. (Obviously, grrr baby, very grrr).

There is a brilliant article all about this restaurant on the BBC website.

Every country in the world has dishes that other nations would find revolting. Some people, when travelling, see this as a bit of a challenge, they are often the most unlikely types too. I have one friend who will eat just about anything, he is also the headmaster of a very exclusive private primary school in Asia.

For the rest of you I have prepared a list of what various things taste like so that you don’t have to try them for yourselves/blag that you have tried them already and didn’t like them.

Cobra - is light and chewy, with a delicate flavor that resembles chicken.

Cobra Blood - tastes like blood.

Buffalo- coarser than beef and considerably darker, it is beefy tasting but with a sweeter aftertaste, should be cooked slowly as it tends to be tough. Is very high in protein and low in cholesterol.

Ostrich - is delicious, smooth and very similar to high grade beef, don’t miss it if offered.

Kangaroo - almost indistinguishable from Venison.

Alligator - The choicest cut is the tail meat which is white and very much like veal in texture. The tenderloin comes from a cylindrical tube inside the tail. The body meat is somewhat darker and has a stronger taste and slightly tougher texture. It is very similar to pork shoulder. Alligator tastes somewhere between chicken and rabbit, with perhaps a hint of frog legs.

Dog - some regions only serve black dog, this is true in Isaan, northern Thailand. Dog meat depending on the cut, tastes like gamey beef or ostrich but has a lingering aftertaste which is where its reputation for tasting like a wet dog smells comes from. The feet are often served deep fried and these are gristly with minimal meat.

Bear - depends largely on what the bears diet has been, if its been a-huntin’ and a-gatherin’ in the forest, then the meat is very pleasant, a cross between pork and beef. Must be cooked slowly and best in pot roasts or casseroles.

Horse - taste like beef but less fatty, the French like theirs minced.

Rat - Rat is one of the few things on this list that actually does taste like chicken. Never eat city rats unless there is a Hollywood style global catastrophe. Field rats are much bigger and have a better diet.

Black Scorpion - actually flavourless except for the marinade they are cooked in.

Malengdaa- people think this is a cockroach but it isn’t, its a water bug and lives in rice fields. No real flavour except again the marinade which often tastes like Marmite. Interestingly this insect is also slang for a pimp in Thailand.

Maggots - some people taste almonds, I don’t, the most difficult thing to eat IMHO, especially the squishy ones, er, that’s all of ’em then.

Grasshopper - tastes like, grass, the lawn kind not the smoking kind.